Fire Retard Ants

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The List of Things We Haven’t Been Invited To.

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Here is a short but growing list of things we haven’t been invited to:

1) We haven’t been invited to spend Christmas with the Kennedy’s

2) We haven’t been invited to sing the Mexican national anthem while trying to head butt a shark.

3) We haven’t been invited to be motivational speakers for the society for people who have lost the tips of their fingers while trying to unjam their snow blowers.

4) We haven’t been invited to play a show with anybody, but we were hoping that Bjork would call so we could see how see sounds on the phone.

5) We haven’t been invited to star as extras in the next installment of the Ishtar Trilogy (For those of you who don’t remember the movie Ishtar… put it on your netflix. It could possibly be the greatest movie ever! You Rule Dustin Hoffman!)

6) We haven’t been invited to spend Christmas with the Kennedy’s neighbors.

to be continued…

7) We haven’t been invited to the zoo to play a squash match against the spider monkeys

8) We haven’t been invited to any Greenpeace eye swabbing practices.

9) We haven’t been invited to star in any independently filmed pornographic films.

Continue:

10) We haven’t been invited to host the Super Fun Happy Hour Extravaganza Game Show in Kyoto Japan (If such a show does exsists (and we believe it does))

Continued:

11) We haven’t been invited to water ski behind a sinking Puget Sound ferry.

12) We haven’t been invited to pop a zit on Damian Hirst’s shoulder – Though we would probably have to pay to do that.

13) We haven’t been invited to Chicago for any reason.

14) We haven’t been invited to serve in President McDonald’s cabinet.

15) We haven’t been invited to star in an after-school special about serious adolescent issues like drugs, alcohol, and teenage pregenacy.

16) We haven’t been invited to share our views on using geothermal energy to power robots that can only do things like make loud noises.

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Written by fireretardant1

August 9, 2007 at 3:27 pm

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