Fire Retard Ants

Mom I want to go to Pizza Hut

Archive for September 2008


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How about this boring format. It makes us look serious, like the guy that works at the morgue.


Written by fireretardant1

September 30, 2008 at 5:54 am

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FRT 1- I changed the blog format back to the shitty orange one.

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Written by fireretardant2

September 26, 2008 at 10:48 pm

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Things you could be doing today.

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Here is a list of things you could be doing today, but for some reason you aren’t.

1) Campaign for the Emperor Penguin.

2) Discover a new color, hopefully one that doesn’t suck like all of the other colors.

3) Start a polka band that only plays Sex Pistol covers.

4) Invent a sex pistol… probably illegal.

5) Record yourself reading a Noam Chomsky book backwards, and then play the tape in reverse.

Written by fireretardant1

September 24, 2008 at 5:52 pm

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Fire Retard Ant Back to School Sale

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We are having our first ever Fire Retard Ant Back to school sale.

Up for grabs:

1) 2 sticks with string tied to them. Perfect for all of your stick and string needs. $1000.00
2) One open box of Milkman powdered milk originally purchased in 2007. $550.00

3) 5 stem cells individually packaged. $4.00

4) Coupon for a face tattoo. $60.00

5) Coupon for a face tattoo removal. $65.00

6) Stephen Hawking’s audio book A Brief History of My Tijuana Bender. $5.00

7) Three steak knives, very dull $33.00

8) Open bag of Cheezies. Opened by Alan Alda.

9) The Fire Retard Ant blog $700.00

Written by fireretardant1

September 17, 2008 at 6:56 pm

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Advice for the colony

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Do not take expensive things apart unless you really know how to put it back together. Seriously.

Written by fireretardant1

September 2, 2008 at 5:30 pm

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