Fire Retard Ants

How about this boring format. It makes us look serious, like the guy that works at the morgue.

BLOG FORMAT WAR!

Here is a list of things you could be doing today, but for some reason you aren’t.

1) Campaign for the Emperor Penguin.

2) Discover a new color, hopefully one that doesn’t suck like all of the other colors.

3) Start a polka band that only plays Sex Pistol covers.

4) Invent a sex pistol… probably illegal.

5) Record yourself reading a Noam Chomsky book backwards, and then play the tape in reverse.

We are having our first ever Fire Retard Ant Back to school sale.

Up for grabs:

1) 2 sticks with string tied to them. Perfect for all of your stick and string needs. $1000.00
2) One open box of Milkman powdered milk originally purchased in 2007. $550.00

3) 5 stem cells individually packaged. $4.00

4) Coupon for a face tattoo. $60.00

5) Coupon for a face tattoo removal. $65.00

6) Stephen Hawking’s audio book A Brief History of My Tijuana Bender. $5.00

7) Three steak knives, very dull $33.00

Open bag of Cheezies. Opened by Alan Alda.

9) The Fire Retard Ant blog $700.00

Do not take expensive things apart unless you really know how to put it back together. Seriously.