How about this boring format. It makes us look serious, like the guy that works at the morgue.
Here is a list of things you could be doing today, but for some reason you aren’t.
1) Campaign for the Emperor Penguin.
2) Discover a new color, hopefully one that doesn’t suck like all of the other colors.
3) Start a polka band that only plays Sex Pistol covers.
4) Invent a sex pistol… probably illegal.
5) Record yourself reading a Noam Chomsky book backwards, and then play the tape in reverse.
We are having our first ever Fire Retard Ant Back to school sale.
Up for grabs:
1) 2 sticks with string tied to them. Perfect for all of your stick and string needs. $1000.00
2) One open box of Milkman powdered milk originally purchased in 2007. $550.00
3) 5 stem cells individually packaged. $4.00
4) Coupon for a face tattoo. $60.00
5) Coupon for a face tattoo removal. $65.00
6) Stephen Hawking’s audio book A Brief History of My Tijuana Bender. $5.00
7) Three steak knives, very dull $33.00
8) Open bag of Cheezies. Opened by Alan Alda.
9) The Fire Retard Ant blog $700.00